I would be an asset to your cult/secret society

1- I am punctual.  I mean it, in a whole sorority that thought it was cute to run on Sigma Kappa Time, which means 15-fucking-minutes-late-to-everything-even-class-time, I was always on time.  Why?  I fear being the last person into the room.  You have to sit in the awkward spots that no one wants to sit in, and everyone looks at you like “look at that suck up sitting in the front row.  She probably think if she impresses the level 12 warlock he wont make her bathe in rat blood so she can become a level 2 orc.”  If there is one thing I hate, its looking like a jerk.  So I will always be on time for your rituals/indoctrination classes.

2- I have many creative ideas with which you can begin to gain enough capital to control the world.  Here are some examples of my excellent work:
-Diamond cartel
-Race horse cloning
-Lemonade stand
-Public access donation show where celebrities answer the phone
-Pop artist albums
    -Our first song can be about blow and hookers.  All the kids today to like that.
-improbable win with a high stakes bet on a roulette table

3- I am also super awesome at keeping secrets.  You may have noted earlier that I was in a sorority.  This is beneficial because we have to keep secrets all the time.  We have a secret ritual, and secret songs, and even secret dances.  And I haven't even told my dogs about them.  Imagine how good I would be at keeping your secrets (really really good!).  I’m like a steel trap.  Or at least like a shut door.  Not a swing door, like some people.  I wont even crack under the pressure of drugs. 

I know this because when I got my wisdom teeth out, I had a different dentist because my usual one was in Cabo (probably).  I knew he was trying to get my secrets, and no amount of valium or laughing gas could get me to say a word.  Though this may have been because I had forgotten how to say words, and because I was distracted by the rainbows swimming around the room.  If my twin sister hadn’t been there to spill all my information to that interloper he would never have found out… whatever he was asking…  (I am not good at being under the influence of anything, even my mom thinks its genetically improbable and slightly embarrassing)

4- I am easy to hypnotize.  I have never been before, I just know I could be hypnotized and brainwashed with a minimum of fuss.

These are all the reasons why I would be an asset to your secret group/society/cult.  I can also provide a resume, and several falsified recommendation letters upon request.